The Reason
by Swarek-Malfoy
Summary: After attacking Maxie and Lulu one night, Logan leaves Port Charles. Two years later he is living in Arizona. Lulu is also living there...what will happen when their paths cross? Will they find love with each other again?...Lugan
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_I'm not a perfect person  
As many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

She was hiding behind the couch with a knife in her hand, scared. She just saw Logan attack Maxie and when he looked out the window he saw her staring back at him. He had called Lulu to tell her that he was coming over to explain. Now he was chopping down the door with a fire ax. He finally broke through.

"Lulu" he said "I just want to explain, come on we can talk just like we used to"

She could see him from where she sat. And when he had his back turned, she saw her opportunity and ran for the door, but he caught her and dropped the knife. He wrapped one arm around her waist and put his other hand over her mouth.

"I just want to talk, ok" he said calmly "I miss you, we have something special and I know you can see it too, Lulu we belong together"

She bit down on his hand and he loosened his grip around her and pushed her against the fire place.

"Lulu please, I miss you so much" he said

"I miss you too" she said quietly and at this point she wasn't sure if it was true or not

He gave her a small hopeful smile and leaned in to kiss her. When she didn't kiss him back, he pulled away.

"You lied" he almost shouted

"Logan I…" she didn't know what to say

"You hate me…don't you" he said looking back up to her

When she looked into his eyes she saw sadness, and he looked scared like he didn't know what was going on or what he was doing.

He backed away from her when she didn't answer

"I…I'm sorry" he said softly, his voice cracking then he walked out the door

Lulu was frozen to the spot; she didn't know what to do. Sure she was scared, but she was mostly confused. _What was wrong with him?_ She thought to herself. Before she could do anything, Johnny rushed in. He tried to go near her but she just pushed him away.

"Lulu are you alright?" he asked "Did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine" she said not even looking at him "I um…I have to go"

She ran out the door before Johnny could stop her. She snuck into her room at the Quartermaine's and sat on her bed, wondering what had happened.

The next morning, she knew exactly what she was going to do, something she had to do. She went to Logan's; she wanted answers about what happened last night. He said that he'd never hurt her and even after last night she still believed him. She hesitantly knocked on the door, when he didn't answer, she looked in the window. She saw nothing; no sign that anybody lived there, all of Logan's things were gone. So she decided to go see the one person that would know where he is.

She went to Scott's office and walked right in when she saw him sitting at his desk

"Scott" she said harshly

"Lulu…look I know what happened last night, just please understand that he didn't know what he was doing" he said hoping she would understand

"I know" she said quietly "Where is he?"

"I don't think…" he started

"Damn it Scott, tell me where Logan is, I deserve some answers" she demanded

"Lulu I can't tell you" he said "I don't even know where he is, all I know is that he left and that he doesn't plan on coming back. If he wanted you to know where he was going…he would have told you"

Lulu knew he was telling the truth, so she just left. With all her questions left unanswered. _Why did he snap like that? Why did he leave? Where did he go?_


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_

Two years later, Lulu was living in Arizona. She decided to move away to get away from all the troubles that came with living in Port Charles. But still to this day, she remembered that night, she knew he wasn't himself. She could still see that sad scared look in his eyes. Lulu hasn't heard from him at all in the past two years and neither has Scott. She had talked to Scott everyday and asked him if he'd heard from Logan. Everyday she got the same answer, so eventually she gave up.

Arizona was a nice change for Lulu, she really liked it there. It was mostly because it was completely different from Port Charles, there was no mob business, no family breathing down her neck, it was just good for her. She left New York about a year ago. It was a spur of the moment thing. One day she got fed up, went to the airport and bought a ticket for the first flight out of there and Arizona was where she ended up.

When she first moved there she found this bar and became really good friends with the bar tender, Rebecca Barnett. Rebecca was about Lulu's age and they had a lot in common, they are even roommates. Lulu made it a habit to stop at the bar every Friday night.

"Hey Becca" she said taking a seat at the bar "Anything interesting tonight?"

She sighed "Well, the same old stuff, you know a few bar fights here and there, drunks that won't leave…but wow some of them sure are hot…I mean whew"

Lulu laughed "I thought you said you weren't going to do that again. Last time you picked up someone at work, it didn't end so well if I'm not mistaken…didn't he hurl all over your new shoes"

"Dang I loved those shoes" she laughed "Eh, I guess you're right…but it doesn't hurt to look"

"So which one has caught your attention tonight?" Lulu asked

"Who said there was only one?"

Lulu laughed "Jeeze Becca, you'll never learn, huh?"

"What?" she shrugged innocently "I'm just looking, besides…I'm on the clock for a few more hours, so I have to find something to do" She looked at Lulu mischeviously "you know, it wouldn't hurt if you found yourself some stud."

Lulu gave her a look as if to say 'don't start that again'

"Lulu, you should put yourself out there again" she said

Lulu had told her about everything. About Logan, about Johnny and about after that night Logan just left. Then how Johnny kept asking her about what happened and if Logan had hurt her. Johnny was just hovering too much so she broke up with him.

"I don't want to" Lulu said "Not yet anyway"

"Why not?" Rebecca asked with her hands on her hips

"Can we please not talk about this?" Lulu asked "I already told you why"

"I know you did, but Lulu that's all in the past" she said "Forget the past and focus on the now"

"It isn't that simple" Lulu said getting frustrated "My past isn't that easy to forget"

"Come on Lulu, just try" she said hopefully "You deserve to be happy and that's not gonna happen if you don't look for it"

"I don't know" Lulu replied doubtfully "I don't think I'm ready"

"Of course you're ready Lulu" Rebecca said with a smile "Let loose, even if it's just for one night…and afterwards if you tell me that you still aren't ready, then I'll stop bugging you about it"

"Fine, but I really don't know wh…"

"I'll set you up" Rebecca said

"With who?" Lulu asked

"Hmm…how 'bout that guy at the end of the bar? I've seen him in here quite a bit over the past couple years, he seems nice enough…and he's hot!" Rebecca smirked

"Ugh…fine, if it will make you shut up" Lulu joked "I'll go talk to him"

"Good" Rebecca smiled "Tell me later how it went"

"Sure I will" Lulu said sarcastically "Now, where did you say he was?"

"Down at the other end of the bar" Rebecca said "Good luck"

"Yeah" Lulu rolled her eyes.

She got up from her seat and started to walk towards the man at the end of the bar, _why am I doing this?_ she thought to herself. She couldn't see the man's face, but as she got closer she gasped _'It couldn't be…could it?'_

_to be continued..._


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
Thats why i need you to hear_

The man tilted his head back to finish off his beer, at that moment Lulu realized it really was him. She nervously began to walk closer.

"Logan?" she said quietly

He looked up at her and his eyes widened with shock

"Lulu?" he said shocked "What are you doing here?" he asked even though he already knew why

She walked up to him, and slapped him across the face. He knew that was coming

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" she said "What the hell are you doing here?" she said sitting in the stool beside him

"I umm…can we not talk about this here?" Logan stood up "Come on lets go" he said and nearly pulled Lulu off the stool

"Logan let go of me" she said

Logan realized he was scaring her, so he quickly let go and backed away

"Lulu…I'm so sorry" he said "I shouldn't have grabbed you like that" Logan looked down "I really think we should talk"

"Oh really? You think we should talk? After two years you decide now's the time to talk" she said sarcastically

"Lulu…please?" he asked softly

Lulu sighed "One minute" she said and quickly walked over to where Rebecca was

"Do you know him?" Lulu asked sternly

"What?" Rebecca asked confused

"Do you know him? Do you have any idea who he is?" Lulu asked again

"No" Rebecca said looking at Lulu, and noticed that she wasn't angry…she was nervous "But I have a feeling you do"

Lulu didn't say anything, she just nodded her head

"Who is he Lulu?" Rebecca asked

"I'll umm…I'll explain everything later okay?" Lulu left without giving her a chance to reply

She walked back to where Logan was and nervously looked down at her feet before looking back up at him.

"Alright…we can talk" Lulu said, still not sure if this was a good idea "Where do you want to go?"

Logan gave her a small smile "Come on, I know a place" he said holding out his hand to her

Lulu hesitated before she took it, and let Logan lead her out the door

Logan opened the door of his car for her and she froze "Lulu, I swear I won't hurt you…I'd never hurt you"

Lulu let a breath out that she didn't know she was holding, and got in the car. Logan closed the door behind her and walked over to his side and got in. He started the engine then drove off.

After a few minutes of silence, Lulu spoke up "Where are we going?"

"You'll see" Logan replied

Before Lulu could answer, they heard the roar of police sirens and Logan pulled over. Lulu looked out the window and saw at least 5 cop cars speed past them

"Jeeze, I wonder where they were off to" Lulu said

The sirens stopped

"I think I know" he said quietly

"What do you mean?" Lulu asked

Logan didn't answer, instead he turned the car around and sped off.

"Now where are we going Logan?" Lulu asked

Logan didn't answer, a few minutes later Logan pulled back into the parking lot of the bar and stopped the car

"Get out" he said quietly

"What?" Lulu said shocked

"Get out, Lulu I can't let you get involved in this" Logan said

"What? Logan what are you talking about" Lulu asked

Logan sighed "Those cops…I know exactly where they went and who they were after"

"Who?" Lulu asked

"Me" Logan said quietly

"Logan, what did you do?" Lulu asked

"Just go, please…I can't let you get hurt because of me again" Logan pleaded

Lulu shook her head "No, I'm not leaving until you explain"

"Lulu, now's not the time to be stubborn" Logan said

"I'm not" Lulu said "Just let me help you"

"You can't Lulu" Logan said "You have no idea how dangerous this is"

"I don't care" Lulu said "Now either switch seats with me, or I'm gonna sit on your lap and drive"

"Ugh…Lulu please just go" Logan groaned

"No" was all she said

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" Logan asked

Lulu just shook her head

"Fine" he sighed, and got out and switched seats with her

She drove off in the opposite direction

"So where are you taking me?" Logan asked "In my car"

"My place" Lulu said not taking her eyes off the road "They won't think to look for you there"

"You always take good care of me" Logan smiled then yawned

Lulu looked over to Logan, and for the first time that night she noticed he was visibly very tired

"Logan? When's the last time you slept?" she asked

"Huh? Oh umm…I don't remember" he said honestly

Lulu just rolled her eyes as she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building

"Okay, we're here" she said

Logan followed Lulu up to her apartment

"Well I have to say, you sure done well for yourself Spencer" Logan smirked

"I know" she said then turned to him with her hands on her hips "Now start talking"

Oh, she was going to get some answers alright...one way or another.

_to be continued..._


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You_

Logan sighed and sat down on the couch, he knew she wasn't going to let this go "What do you wanna know first?" he asked quietly

"Okay" she said sitting down at the other end of the couch, making sure there was distance between them "That night…why did you freak out like that? It was like you were a completely different person"

"Lulu" he started, he wasn't sure how he was going to tell her "For starters…I got help"

Lulu looked at him confused "Got help for what?"

"I don't remember why I went after Maxie and you like that, I guess I just snapped and when I realized what I was doing…" he started "After I left Johnny's place that night…I just packed my stuff and ran, once I got out of Port Charles I called Scott and told him all I could remember, I could only remember pieces. I uh…told him that I was leaving and…" He trailed off and looked up at Lulu, the look in her eyes gave him the courage to continue "I didn't tell him where" he sighed "I ended up back in Texas, my Ma sure was glad to see me" he smiled small and sighed "I told her about everything, and she took me to some doctor right away…"

"What did they say?" she asked, he could hear the concern in her voice

"Well the doc…he diagnosed me with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and he gave me medication to help with it" he looked down, he didn't know what to say next. He felt her hand on his shoulder, urging him to continue "Lulu, the stuff that happens over there, no one comes back from war the same person. Believe it or not before I enlisted I wanted to be a doctor…but instead I went to Port Charles and was so damn determined to join the mob"

He chuckled "A lot of good that did eh? I got fired twice"

"Logan, that was a good thing" she said "You're lucky you go out when you did"

"Yeah…I know" he said still not looking at her "Lu, it makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do, all those outbursts of anger…I didn't even know what I was doing that night"

"I know" she said quietly

"You do?" he asked finally looking up at her

"Logan, I could tell something was wrong…I know you'd never hurt me" she said softly

Logan looked down, he knew if she ever found out why the cops were after him it would hurt her in more ways than one

"Lu, I should go" he said getting up and heading for the door but she stopped him

"Logan wait" she said putting her hand on his arm "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he said quietly shrugging her hand off his arm

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked and he looked at her and shook his head

"Lulu you didn't do anything wrong, I promise" he said "but I really have to go"

"And where are you going to go, eh?" she asked "The cops are probably still at your place…you know Logan you can stay here, it would be safer"

"Why do you care?" he asked turning towards her "I scared you, I hurt you and it's a waste of time… you deserve better"

"You know, back then I said I didn't want better, now isn't any different" she said softly and he gave her a weird look

"What about you're boytoy?" he said

Lulu rolled her eyes, she knew exactly who he was talking about "I dumped Johnny a long time ago"

Logan looked at her confused "I thought he made you happy though"

"I guess I was wrong" Lulu said with a small smile "So will you stay?"

"You won't take no for an answer will you?" he asked

Lulu just shook her head "You take the bed"

"No, the couch is fine" Logan said

"I don't take no for an answer remember" she said pushing him towards her bedroom

Logan sat on the bed "Where are you going to sleep?"

"The couch" she said

"Lulu…" he started

"No Logan, really you take the bed" she said "You need sleep and you look like hell"

"Gee thanks" he said

"When was the last time you slept?" she asked

Logan sighed "I don't remember…I couldn't really afford to sleep"

"Because the cops are after you?" she asked and he nodded "Logan, why won't you tell me why they're after you?"

Logan put his head down on the pillow "Lu, it's too dangerous…you're better off not knowing" he said "Can we please not talk about this?"

"Okay" she said "for now"

Logan just rolled his eyes and only then did he realize just how tired he was so he closed his eyes

"How is it that I've been here a year, and I never saw you" she said mostly to herself

"I didn't let you see me" he mumbled

"What do you mean? Logan, did you know I was here all this time?" she asked confused and shocked

When he didn't answer back she realized he fell asleep. She sighed and left the room, closing the door behind her. Lulu made herself comfortable on the couch and drifted off to sleep with a lot on her mind, but one thing stood out the most…_did he know I was here all this time?_

_to be continued..._


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You_

Rebecca could have sworn Lulu knew that guy she left with. All she knew was that his name is Logan and he's a regular, he was also her boyfriend's best friend. It was time for her to clock out and as she did so, she felt someone wrap their arms around her waist. She turned around and smiled at her boyfriend Tyler O'Connor.

"Hey Ty" she said kissing him lightly on the lips

"You know, if I can get a real kiss I might just drive you home" he smiled

"You drive me home every Friday" she said teasingly

"Hmm…well do I still get a kiss?" he asked

Rebecca shrugged and smiled before kissing him again. They broke apart when they both needed air.

"Better?" she asked

"Much" he said "Lets go"

As they were driving to her apartment, Tyler looked over and he could sense she had something on her mind

"Becca?" he said

"Hmm?" she asked still staring out the window

"What are you thinking about babe?" he asked

She shrugged "It's just you know your friend Logan?"

"Why, what did he do?" he asked

"Nothing, it's just Lulu, I kind of set her up with him and…"

"What do you mean kinda?" he asked

"Well I just told her she should put herself out there again" she said "I saw Logan sitting at the bar, and told her to go say hi…and she did"

"Ok" he said confused "I don't see what the…"

"It looked like they knew each other" she interrupted

"Huh, that's odd, because I know for a fact that Logan hasn't even dated since he moved here" he said

He knew exactly who Lulu was, and he knew exactly how they knew each other. But he wasn't about to tell Rebecca the truth even if she is his girlfriend. He made a promise to Logan not to tell anybody, and he was going to keep it. He pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building and parked the car

"I just…" she sighed "I'm so confused right now"

"I'm sure Lulu will tell you when you get up there" he said

"Yeah you're probably right" she said then opened the car door but Tyler pulled her back

"Hey, not so fast" he chuckled

"Oh, did I forget something?" she asked jokingly

He nodded before kissing her deep.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" he said when they finally broke apart

"Of course" she smiled before getting out of the car and walking into the building, she turned around and waved before he drove away

When she got up to the apartment, she was surprised at what she saw. She saw Lulu asleep on the couch. She walked over and tapped her on the shoulder

"Lulu?" she whispered loudly

Lulu stirred before slowly opening her eyes "Hmm, what?" she sat up "What time is it" she said with a yawn

"It's quarter after 12" Rebecca said "Why are you on the couch?"

"Uh…" Lulu said, she had to come up with a lie and fast "I was going to watch TV but I guess I fell asleep before I could turn it on"

"Oh, well" Rebecca giggled lightly "Why don't you go to bed, you look beat and I'm gonna want some answers in the morning"

And with that Rebecca went to her room.

_Me too_, Lulu thought to herself before she went to her room, closing the door behind her. She looked at Logan who was sleeping peacefully lying on his stomach…in her bed. She decided she'd get a better sleep in her bed anyway so she crawled in the other side and almost immediately fell asleep when her head hit the pillow. The last thought on her mind before she drifted off to sleep was how safe she felt.

Logan woke up first and looked over to the nightstand to see what time it was. Then he realized he wasn't in his room. He felt the bed shift beside him looked over to see Lulu sleeping. Logan had figured it was just a dream, but it wasn't.

_I have to get out of here_, he thought to himself. He quietly got out of the bed, careful not to wake her up. He managed to find his car keys. He smiled because they drove there in his car, and Lulu's was still at the bar…she was not going to be happy, but he had to leave, he couldn't put her in danger.

He snuck out of the building and to his car, he took one look back before he drove away.

Tyler woke up to persistent knocking on his door. He groaned and looked at the time…5:33. He turned over and put a pillow over his head hoping it would drown out the sound. But he had no such luck. He reluctantly got up and answered the door.

"Ugh, dude do you have any idea what time it is?" Tyler said

"Yeah" Logan said

"Why didn't you just go back to your place?" he asked, by the expression on Logan's face he knew why "Cops again?"

Logan nodded

"You know Loge, you could end this all right now" he said "Just go after the idiot that set you up"

"It's not that simple Ty" he said "Those people, they don't back down, you get one of them then another one comes at you with a vengeance"

"Gee, sounds like your dealing with the mob" Tyler said sarcastically "Logan, you know who's doing this so why not put a stop to it"

"Yeah, that'll just give them all the more reason to arrest me" Logan said

"Loge, I'm not talking about murder or anything" Tyler said "Just set them up like they set you up"

"Oh, and how am I supposed to do that?" Logan snapped

"Relax dude" Tyler said "You told me you were planning on setting this guy up before, so just do it again"

"Yeah with my luck, this time I'll get myself killed" Logan said

"Oh come on" Tyler said "You told me that Lulu didn't mean to do that"

"She didn't" Logan agreed

Tyler thought for a minute "Here's a thought, tell her what's going on, she could help you"

"I already told you, she doesn't know I'm here and its better that way" he lied

"Bullshit" Tyler said

"What?"

"Bullshit" Tyler said again chuckling "Becca told me that Lulu left the bar with you last night"

Logan looked down "I don't want to get her hurt or worse" he said quietly

"You won't" Tyler said "Now why don't you sit your ass on the couch, cuz I'm tired and I'm going back to bed…we'll talk about this more later alright"

Logan just sighed and nodded

Lulu woke up and looked over to see that Logan wasn't there. He didn't leave a note, nothing. She thought it was his way of not wanting to talk or tell her why the police were after him. She sighed and got out of bed. She saw that Rebecca was just finishing up her breakfast; she looked up when she heard Lulu come out.

"Well there you are sleepyhead" Rebecca said

"Ha, funny" Lulu said pouring herself a bowl of cereal

"So…" Rebecca started

"So…what?"

"So, how'd it go last night?" Rebecca asked

"How'd what go?" Lulu asked

"Come on Lulu, you know what I'm talking about" Rebecca said "How'd it go with you and Logan? He obviously drove you home because your car is still at the bar"

"What?" she asked, then she realized she never did mention his name to Rebecca "Oh, good"

"Ok" Rebecca said "Now are you going to explain, how you know him? Because it was pretty obvious that you did"

"Becca" Lulu sighed

"Well, you said you'd explain" Rebecca smiled "So get to it"

"Jeeze you're persistent" Lulu said "Alright, I knew him from back home"

"And…?"

"And, we were together for a while" Lulu said

"Oh, so is he the mobster wannabe" she said scrunching up her nose, because just from what Lulu told her, she didn't like him "Or is he that bad boy that loved you?" she smiled

"Uh…the second one" Lulu said and couldn't stop a smile from forming

"So is he alright?" Rebecca asked remembering what Lulu had told her about that night

Lulu nodded "Yeah, he got help" she smiled, then gave Rebecca a weird look "How'd you know his name?"

"Well, he's a regular at the bar and…he's Tyler's best friend" she laughed at Lulu's shocked expression

"You lied, you said you didn't know him" Lulu said sternly

"I don't really, I only met him a couple times" Rebecca said then looked at the clock "Ok, I have to go, Ty's picking me up any minute" she looked at Lulu "I'll ask him to give you a ride to get your car"

"No, I'm fine I can walk" Lulu said

"You're right, you'll be fine because we're driving you" Rebecca said ""Besides, I have to get my purse"

"You left it there again?" Lulu laughed "I'm surprised it doesn't get stolen"

"Hey, it's in a locker" she said "And I was kind of busy last night"

"Yeah, I'm sure Tyler keeps you busy" Lulu laughed

"Oh, shut up" she said "Come on"

"Fine" Lulu replied

Tyler picked them up and drove them to the bar, Rebecca went in to get her purse. As Lulu was walking to her car, Tyler called her back over.

"Lulu" he said

"Yeah" she replied walking back over

"You know he really is just looking out for you" he said

"I know" she said then caught a look in his eyes "Did he tell you why the cops are after him?"

"Yeah, but I can't tell you, you'll have to find out from him" he said

"Where is he?" she asked

"Uh…he'll probably kill me for telling you" Tyler smiled "But he's at my place, he was still asleep on the couch when I left"

"Thanks" she said

"Oh and Lulu, don't tell him I told you" he smiled

"I won't" she smiled back before getting in her car

She drove away, hoping Logan would give her the answers that she so desperately wanted and hoping he'd let her help him.

_to be continued..._


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N : This chapter is rated M, I hope you like it…I also have more chapters already written so they will be up soon**

**Chapter 5**

_I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know _

Lulu arrived at Tyler's place and was about to knock, but she stopped. She thought of a better way to let Logan know she was there. Lulu looked through her purse until she found something that she could pick the lock with. 'Success' she thought to herself when the door unlocked. When she opened the door, she smiled when she saw Logan sleeping, his body was only half on the couch. She quietly closed the door behind her and sat on the couch beside him.

Logan felt the sudden movement beside him and jolted awake. With the way he was lying on the couch he didn't have enough support underneath him so he fell on the floor. He looked up to see Lulu standing over him

"Lulu?" he said "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk" Lulu said

Logan got up and sat on the couch and Lulu sat beside him.

"Lulu, I told you all I'm going to tell you" He sighed

"No you didn't" Lulu said "You are going to tell me why the cops are after you"

"No Lulu, listen…I can't…it won't do you any good if I tell you" he said hoping she'd just drop it

"Logan, you can tell me…I won't tell anyone" Lulu said softly

Logan sighed "Lulu, it isn't that simple" he looked in her eyes "I don't want you to get hurt"

"I won't" Lulu said "Logan, I want to help you"

"I know but…"

"But nothing" Lulu interrupted "Just tell me"

"Fine" he spat "I was in Texas for about 3 months before I came here. After a while I was running low on cash so I thought I'd hustle some at pool. It worked for a while but then one night this guy…" he trailed off

"This guy what?" Lulu asked

"He was an undercover cop…" he said

"Ok, but I don't see why the cops would be after you for that" Lulu said confused

"That's not exactly why they're after me" he said quietly

"Why are they after you, Logan?" she asked, when he didn't answer her, she asked again "Why?"

"Later that night, they found a body in the alley behind the place" he said slowly "It was that cop" he said and Lulu gasped "Lulu, I didn't do it…I was set up"

Lulu was quiet for a moment "I believe you" she said and he gave her a small smile "Do you know who set you up?" she asked quietly

Logan nodded "Yes…but I can't tell you that"

"Why not?" she asked

"Because that's the part that could put you in danger…and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you" he said and she noticed the pleading look in his eyes

"Logan?" she said softly

"I can't tell you" he said quickly

"I understand" Lulu said "But if you know who it is, then couldn't you just put an end to it?"

Logan shook his head "Someone would get hurt"

Lulu knew he was talking about her "Logan, don't worry about…is this why you didn't let me see you?"

"What?" he asked

"You knew I was here all along, didn't you?" she said

Logan didn't know how to reply, he just nodded his head

"I didn't let you see me because…I didn't want you to be scared" he said and it was the truth…well part of it

She put her hand gently on his cheek "Logan I'm not scared of you…I know you'd never hurt me"

She looked in his eyes and she didn't know what came over her, but she had to kiss him. She leaned in and softly pressed her lips to his. He didn't kiss her back at first but once her tongue swept across his lips he granted her entrance. The kiss started of soft and sweet but soon grew more intense. Lulu shifted herself so she was on his lap, straddling him, she heard him groan softly and it only made her kiss him harder. He felt her hands travel down his chest and to the rim of his shirt. She started to lift it up, Logan knew they should stop before this went any further, but he couldn't. He lifted his arms and allowed her to take his shirt off and she threw it over her shoulder. Lulu lifted her shirt off and threw it over her shoulder as well. She started to kiss down his neck, remembering all the spots that drove him crazy. Soon she was kissing down his chest and he felt her hands on the button of his jeans. Suddenly reality sunk in and he grabbed her hands

"Lulu, we have to stop" he panted

"I want this, Logan" she said "I want you"

Before he could say anything she kissed him passionately and started to rub up against him. Any rational thought was lost as he felt her hands travel down to the button on his jeans again. Once she unbuttoned them, she separated from him, just long enough to pull his jeans down. When she went to kiss him again, she was surprised when he grabbed her and pulled her underneath him so he was hovering over her. His hands traveled down her chest and to her waist, he unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off along with her panties, tossing them on the floor. Logan kissed up from her belly button to her chest then back to her lips making her moan. His hands traveled around her back and unhooked her bra, he tossed it, not caring where it landed. He kissed slowly down her neck and to her chest. He slowly licked a path from her breasts and up her neck, back to her lips kissing her passionately. He felt her pull his boxers down and begin stroking him

"Oh god" he moaned against her lips, he was fully hard and didn't know how much more he could take.

Logan reluctantly separated from her and kicked of his boxers and jeans. He reached for his wallet and took out a condom and rolled it on. Before he could make another move, Lulu climbed on top of him and began straddling him again, teasing him. She lifted herself up and took him all inside her heat.

"Ohhhhh" she moaned at the feel of him inside her and she slowly began to ride him

Logan gripped her hips tightly and moved her up and down, making her go harder and faster. He flipped her on her back and trust deep inside her.

"Ohhh you feel so good" he moaned

"Harder" she moaned loudly

He happily obliged, thrusting into her harder, faster and deeper

"Logan!" she screamed and arched her back

He knew she was almost there, he could feel it. Logan groaned when he felt her tighten around him

"Lulu" he groaned

He started thrusting into her more harder and deeper than ever before until she finally pulsed around him and screamed his name with unbelievable pleasure "Logan"

He continued to thrust into her, he was so close "Lulu…you're so…ughhh" he screamed as he reached the height of his pleasure. His thrusts slowed and he collapsed on top of her. They were both struggling to catch their breath. Logan removed the condom and shifted on the couch so that she was now on top of him. She put her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as she drifted off to sleep. _I am in so much trouble_ he thought to himself before he drifted off to sleep as well.

_to be continued..._


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A few hours later, Logan woke up from what he thought was the most amazing dream. Then he looked down and realized that it wasn't a dream. Lulu was still sleeping on top of him. He smiled but then realized where they were. They were at Tyler's apartment, on the couch, not dressed.

"Lulu" he said softly

"mmm" she said quietly

"Lulu, we have to get up" Logan said "We have to get dressed before Tyler gets back"

"What?" she said as she jolted awake

"Tyler will probably be back soon" Logan said "We have to get dressed"

Lulu got off of Logan and looked around for her clothes, once she got them she ran to the bathroom.

Logan quickly got dressed and as he was putting his shirt on he noticed the scar on his abdomen. All the reasons that he and Lulu couldn't be together came rushing back. He realized he just put her in even more danger. He sat on the couch, his face in his hands. He looked up when he heard her come out of the bathroom. She was smiling at him, he couldn't take it and looked away. Lulu caught on to this and sat down beside him.

"Whats wrong?" she asked

When he didn't answer she asked again "Logan, whats wrong?"

"It shouldn't have happened" he said quietly

"What?" Lulu said quietly but also shocked

"This…us…" he said, he couldn't look at her "I shouldn't have let it go as far as it did"

"Logan, I wanted to be with you…I…"

"I can't do this" he interrupted

"Logan…" she started

"Don't" he said coldly "It'd be best for both of us if you just leave now"

"What? Logan I'm not leaving" she said "Not until you give me a reason"

He knew if he told her the real reason, because she'd be in too much danger…she wouldn't leave, she'd want to stay and try to help him. So he had to come up with something that would get her leave…for good.

"I just don't want to be with you" he said, his voice void of emotion

"Logan, why are you doing this?" she asked, and she could feel the tears building up

"I told you Lulu, I don't want to be with you" he said "What happened here was a mistake…just leave alright"

When she didn't move, he spoke again "Go…just go"

He couldn't look at her because he knew he'd see tears. She still didn't move

"Lulu, leave me the hell alone" he yelled and Lulu got up and went to the door

"I hate you, is that what you want me to say?" she said loudly and then she left slamming the door behind her

Logan leaned back on the couch. He did it, he pushed her away. All he had to do was keep telling himself that it was for her own good, then the aching feeling in his chest would go away…right?

As soon as Lulu got back to her apartment, she collapsed on the couch, finally allowing the tears to fall

"Lulu?" she heard, and looked up to see Rebecca

"I didn't hear you come in" she said

"Sorry…Lulu why are you crying?" Rebecca asked

"It's nothing" Lulu said quietly

"Lulu I know you, its obviously something" Rebecca said "You can tell me"

Lulu hesitated a bit before she answered "I slept with Logan" she said quietly

"What?" Rebecca said shocked

"I slept with him" she said "And then he yelled at me to get out"

"I don't get it, why would…"

"He said he didn't want to be with me and that…that it was a mistake" she said and the tears started falling again

"Lulu, I'm sorry...I don't know what to say" Rebecca said

"Its ok…you don't have to say anything" Lulu said "I'll be fine"

"I know you'll be fine…you're one of the strongest people I know" Rebecca said with a sad smile

Tyler listened at the door, he didn't hear voices so he figured Lulu already had came and left. When he opened the door, he was somewhat shocked to see Logan, sitting on the couch, drinking.

"Well, I see you've helped yourself to my beer" Tyler said

Logan didn't answer, he just finished off his beer then went to the fridge to get another

"Hey, Loge, why are you drinking?" Tyler asked

Logan sighed "Lulu was here"

Tyler figured he'd need a beer to hear this, he went to the fridge but stopped when he saw what was on the stove and chuckled

"And I take it you didn't just talk?" he asked

"What?" Logan asked confused

Tyler picked up the bra and threw it to Logan "Did you really want to heat things up that much?"

"Oh, well aren't you funny" Logan said sarcastically

"Dude seriously, what happened?" Tyler asked

"I slept with her, then I told her to leave" Logan said as if it was nothing

"Why the hell would you do that?" Tyler asked

"You know why" Logan replied

"Logan, are you really that scared of the guy?" Tyler asked

"No Ty, I'm not scared of him at all" Logan said surly "I'm scared of what he'd do to her"

"Logan just because the guy told you to stay away from her and all, doesn't mean you have to" Tyler said "Since when have you ever listened to what people told you to do?, hell even when we were in the army you didn't listen"

"If I'm not mistaken, you didn't listen when we were in the army all that well either" Logan said

"That's not the point and you know it" Tyler said "Logan come on, you love the girl so why lie to her? Why don't you just go be with her?"

"It's not that simple Ty" Logan said "If this idiot ever found out, he'd kill her"

"Logan jeez…don't you think she'd be safer if she was with you?" Tyler said

"It doesn't work that way" Logan said "If I stay away from her, she's safe"

"Yeah but how long do you think you can stay away from her?" Tyler said

"I stayed away from her ever since she came here, there's nothing different now" Logan said

"Yeah there is" Tyler said

"What?" Logan asked

"She knows you're here" Tyler said

Logan just nodded and took a gulp of his beer. Part of him wondered if Tyler was right. Would Lulu be safer with him?

_to be continued..._


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The days afterwards went by very slowly, it's been almost a month since she walked out. Logan knew it was his fault she did, but that pain in his chest still wouldn't go away. He could still see that look in her eyes when she left, and it broke his heart knowing he did that to her. But he had to, he had to push her away, it was the only way that she'd be safe. When he heard a knock on his door, he jumped up to answer it.

"Well, did you see her?" Logan asked

"Yeah" Tyler said closing the door behind him

"Well?" Logan asked

"Well nothing" Tyler said "You wanna know how she is, then you'll have to go see her yourself"

"Come on man" Logan said frustrated

"No" Tyler said

"Dude, you know I can't go see her" Logan said

"Logan, from what you said, Lulu dumped this Zucchini guy a while back" Tyler said "So why the hell is he still after you? You still never told me that part"

Logan rolled his eyes "Alright" he sighed "The bastard blamed me when Lulu dumped his ass, so that's how it all started. Now he doesn't like the fact that Lulu and I live in the same town"

"Why don't you just tell her this?" Tyler asked and Logan groaned "Come on, look at it this way…if you tell her the truth, then you can be with her and keep her safe"

"Alright, look at it this way" Logan said in the same tone Tyler used "The guy will stay away from her as long as I stay away from her. If he ever finds out that I slept with her, he'll kill her cuz the way he sees it is if he can't have her then no one can"

Tyler sighed "I see you're point, but how long could you avoid her?" he asked "Cuz face it, Flagstaff isn't that big of a town"

"Well then, I guess I'll have to leave" Logan said

"Seriously? Your gonna let this idiot drive you out of town?" Tyler said

"I don't know what else I'm supposed to do Ty" Logan said "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her because of me"

"Then don't run" Tyler said "Just because you leave doesn't mean Lulu will be any safer. The way I see it, is that if you're around she'd be safer"

Rebecca has been knocking on Lulu's door for the past hour, but still got no response.

"Come on Lulu, you can't live off junk food and chick flicks forever" Rebecca yelled though the door

Lulu scoffed before she opened the door "What?" she spat

"Come on" Rebecca said "We're going out"

"No" Lulu said

"Yes we are" Rebecca said "Now you can either change, or I'm gonna drag you out in your pajamas…take your pick"

"Ugh!" Lulu said before she slammed her bedroom door

A few minutes later she came out, dressed and ready to go

Lulu sighed "Where are we going?"

"You'll see" Rebecca smirked

Lulu and Rebecca had spent the last hour at the bar, having shots of tequila. They were on about their eighth shot. Lulu was piss drunk with Rebecca not far behind.

"So much better that junk food eh?" Rebecca laughed downing another shot

"Oh yeah" Lulu slurred

After a few more shots, Rebecca decided she was done so she called Tyler for a ride home.

Once he got there, he was shocked at what he saw. He saw Lulu dancing up top of the bar with Rebecca laughing so hard that it looked like she was about to fall over. When she saw Tyler come in, she got off the bar stool.

"Hey ba…whoa" She broke off when she fell flat on the floor.

"Becca are you alright?" he asked, and when he flipped her over he realized she wasn't crying, she was laughing hysterically

"Alright" he laughed "Lets get you home"

Tyler helped Rebecca back up to the stool before he went to Lulu who was still dancing on the bar.

"Come on down Lulu" he said

"No" she said

"Lulu come on, before you hurt yourself" Tyler said

"No" was Lulu's answer again

"Lulu"

"No" was all she said

Tyler turned to Rebecca who was laughing hysterically

"A little help here" Tyler said

Rebecca smiled big and shook her head.

Tyler sighed and rolled his eyes. He thought for a minute and smiled when he thought of what to do; he took out his phone and dialed a number

"Hey, man you have to get down here now" Tyler said

"Why? Where are you?" Logan asked

"I'm at the bar" Tyler said "There's something I think you should see"

"What is it?" Logan sighed

"Just get your ass down here" Tyler said then hung up the phone

A little while later, Logan showed up at the bar. When he saw Tyler he went straight over

"Hey dude, glad you showed" Tyler said patting Logan on the back

"Alright, so why am I here?" Logan asked

Tyler just pointed over to where Lulu was, still dancing on the bar

Logan had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Once he regained his composure, he looked at Tyler with a straight face

"What is it that you think I should do?" Logan asked

"Well, for starters get her down before she falls" Tyler laughed "Second, just talk to her…tell her the truth"

Logan shook his head "No, I'm outta here"

Just as he was about to turn away from the bar, he noticed that Lulu was about to fall. Lulu felt herself falling, and was shocked when she didn't hit the floor. She looked up to see who caught her. She gasped when she realized that she had fallen right into Logan's arms. A big drunken smile spread across her face.

"Hi" she slurred still with the smile "You look hottttt"

Logan couldn't help but smile a little "And you look drunk"

"I am not" she pouted

Logan put her back on her feet, but everything started spinning and she fell right into Logan's chest, she hiccupped "Maybe I am" she said and started to laugh

She looked up at Logan and started to lean in. What she did next shocked the hell out of Logan, even though it should be expected. She slapped him across the face

"I hate you!" she almost shouted, then she pulled him closer and kissed him hard on the lips

Logan didn't even kiss her back, he pulled away. "Why did you do that?" Lulu slurred then tried to kiss him again but he held her at arms length

"No Lulu" Logan said

"But Logan…" she pouted "…I wanna…"

Logan looked at Lulu weird "You really are drunk"

"No shit Sherlock" she said and hiccupped "Now gimme what I want"

Lulu jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. She went to kiss him again but her head fell to his shoulder. When he heard the deep breathing he realized she passed out. _'Great'_ he thought to himself

He turned to Tyler who was laughing like crazy "I guess I'll take her home" Logan said, shifting Lulu in his arms so she was easier to carry

Tyler just smirked and Logan rolled his eyes.

Logan brought her out to his car, but before he could close the door, he felt himself being slammed against the car and felt a gun being pressed into his neck

"What did I tell you Hayes?" the man said through gritted teeth

"Sorry I guess I wasn't listening" Logan said sarcastically "What was it you told me?"

The guy pushed Logan harder against the car "I told you to stay away from her or…" he broke off when Logan slammed his elbow into his gut. Logan pinned the guy against another car and slammed his arm against it until he dropped the gun, the guy then punched Logan hard in the face. Logan reciprocated and hit the guy over and over again until he was on the ground, out cold

"Goodnight, Johnboy" Logan said before he shut the passenger side door and quickly got in the drivers seat, squealing the tires as he sped off. He looked over at a sleeping Lulu, wondering what to do next.

_to be continued..._


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Lulu woke up the next morning, and squinted when the sun hit her eyes, it didn't help matters any that she had a mother of a headache. She took note of her surroundings and realized that she had no clue where she was.

"Ugh, what did I do last night?" she said to herself

She jumped when she heard the car door open, she looked at him confused then anger coursed through her body.

"Logan!" she said angrily, then put her hand up to her throbbing head

"Hey" he said "I thought you might need this" he handed her a cup of coffee

She didn't say a word, but she took it

"Why the hell am I here? With you?" she asked harshly after taking a sip of the coffee

Logan knew that there was no way out of this one, he had to tell her the truth…the whole truth. When he didn't say anything, Lulu spoke up again

"Well?" she said wanting an explanation "Because last I saw of you it was 'wham bam thank you ma'am'…then you basically said you wanted nothing to do with me…so why am I here Logan?"

Logan swallowed the lump in his throat "Last night, Ty called me and told me to come to the bar. I saw that you were drunk, so I figured the least I could do was drive you home…" he trailed off

"Well, Logan this sure as hell doesn't look like home to me" she said "Where are we?"

"Um…just outside of town" he said quietly not even looking her way

"What the…Logan?" she said "Why?"

Logan ran his hand over his face "Lulu, I…"

"Is that about why the cops are after you?" she asked, her voice finally softening "And what happened to your face?"

Logan slowly nodded ignoring her last statement, still not looking at her

"I…I'm sorry I got you into this" Logan said, then he hesitated "It's just…the only way I can keep you safe"

"Logan what's going on?" she asked not sure if she wanted to know the answer

Logan didn't answer, he knew he'd have to tell her but he didn't want to do it like this. So he turned the car on and drove off

"Logan Hayes, answer me damn it" she almost shouted

"I will" he said "Just…not right now"

"Ugh, I hate you" she said

"Why thank you Lulu" he said in his most cheerful voice

"Ugh"

About half an hour later, Logan pulled into the parking lot of a motel

When Lulu saw where they were she said "Oh no, there is no way in hell I'll ever be sleeping with you again!"

"Is that what you think this is about?" he scoffed "Jeez Lu, I brought you here so we could talk…I promise I'll explain everything"

Lulu didn't say a word. Once they checked in, they went to the room. Logan unlocked the door allowing Lulu to go in first

"Oh and Lulu? I just thought I'd tell ya that there is no way in hell I'd ever sleep with you again either" he said, then he couldn't resist adding "No matter how much you beg"

Lulu knew he was implicating what she had said to him last night "Fuck you Logan" she said glaring at him, wishing he'd wipe that damn smirk off his face…only because it still made her weak in the knees. She sat on the bed, she couldn't believe they only had single rooms left "Well, start explaining asshole"

"Where do you want me to start?" he asked

"Well lets see, how about how all this involves me" she said still glaring at him

"Ok" he sighed "I told you about that undercover cop that was killed right? Well…he was killed just to frame me" Logan said quietly and hesitated before he spoke again "Lulu what I didn't tell you was who is behind it all…" he trailed off

"Who is it?" she asked, when he didn't answer she asked again "Logan…who is it? Tell me"

Logan swallowed hard and Lulu saw what looked like anger flicker in his eyes "It's…it's Johnny" he finally said hoping and praying that she would believe him

Lulu felt like she was going to be sick "J…Johnny?" Lulu said "But why…why would he come after you?"

"He thinks it's my fault that you dumped him…that's how it started" Logan said quietly "Then he kept at it because he didn't like that we lived in the same town"

Logan saw the guilty look in her eyes so he spoke up again "I know what you're thinking…Lu it's not your fault" he sat on the bed and hesitated a little before he wrapped his arms around her, when she didn't pull back, he pulled her to him "You did what was best for you. If it's anyone's fault it's mine"

"So this is why you said you didn't want to be with me and what happened was a mistake…isn't it?" she asked

"Um…" he said

"Logan…what else aren't you telling me?" she asked

"Lu…one night he…Johnny came to me, it got real bad" Logan said, not telling her any details. She noticed the anger in his eyes again "He said that if I went anywhere near you that…"

"That what, Logan?" she asked urging him to continue

"That…that he'd kill you" Logan said looking away from her

"What" Lulu said quietly, mostly to herself

"Then last night…he saw me putting you in the car and…" he said "And…so I kind of knocked him out and drove away…that's how we ended up here"

"Logan…" she started

"Lu, I promise I won't let anything happen to you" he said

"Why didn't you tell me all this before?" she asked

"Because I was trying…I wanted to protect you" he said getting up

"Where are you going?" she asked

"Um, I'm going to take a shower" he said and headed to the bathroom

The truth is, he was angry at the situation and about Lulu being in danger because of him and he needed to cool down.

About 20 minutes later Lulu saw Logan come out in his jeans and his shirt in his hand. Trying not to let it affect her how he looked with no shirt on and his wet hair. For the first time she noticed a scar on his abdomen and gasped, she didn't know how she missed it before.

"Oh my god Logan…what happened?"

_to be continued..._


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Tyler and Rebecca had fallen asleep on the couch in her apartment. Rebecca woke up first the next morning and she quietly got off of Tyler without waking him. She needed something to sooth her pounding head. She put on the coffee and got some ibuprofen out of the medicine cabinet.

She sat on the coffee table in front of the couch and smiled as she watched Tyler sleeping. He looked so peaceful, oh and so handsome. Rebecca knew she loved him, but she wouldn't say the words to him, not yet. She didn't want to scare him off

Tyler shifted, he could feel her eyes on him and he couldn't help but smirk when he felt her hand on his cheek. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, as he kissed her hand, he opened his eyes

"Morning drunkie" he smiled

Rebecca pulled her hand away "Hey, I wasn't that drunk…although I sure feel it this morning" she said rubbing her head

Tyler pulled her to the couch and she landed on top of him "Whoa" she giggled

"You know, that headache is probably somewhat from falling flat on your face" he chuckled and from the confused look on her face, he realized "What you don't remember?" he sighed then joked "What a shame"

"Oh shut up" she said hitting him in the shoulder

Tyler smirked "Hate to break it to ya babe, but you're gonna have to make me"

"Oh is that right?" she smiled then kissed him

He immediately deepened the kiss. Tyler brought his hands down to the hem of her shirt, and at that moment she pulled back and got up

"Hey hey hey, where are you going?" he asked still in a daze

"I'm getting some coffee" she said "I need something to help with this hangover"

Tyler got up and walked over to where Rebecca was standing at the counter. He wrapped his arms around her waist then whispered in her ear "You know, coffee isn't what you need to get rid of that hangover"

"Oh, and I suppose you know what I need?" she turned around in his arms and smiled

"Yeah" he smirked "Me"

Tyler then leaned in and kissed her, and after a few breathless moments, she pulled back "As much as I want you right now…" she smiled "I should probably go check on Lulu, she had more booze than I did last night"

"Alright" Tyler smiled letting her go

Rebecca knocked on Lulu's door "Hey Lulu, wake up"

When she didn't hear anything, she opened the door "Lulu?"

She saw that Lulu was no where in the room, she gasped and ran out of the room

"Ty, she's not there" Rebecca panicked, then it hit her "Wait a minute, wasn't your friend supposed to bring her home? What the hell did Logan do to her?Where are they?" she yelled

"Becca, I'm sure she's fine" Tyler said trying to calm her down "Logan's a good guy, he'd never hurt her"

"What makes you so sure" she asked "How are you so sure you can trust him"

"Look babe" he said softly "Logan and I, we fought in Iraq together, I trust him with my life and I know we can trust him with Lulu's. I know him, I know that he'd never hurt her"

Rebecca slowly nodded "If you trust him…then I trust him" she said "I should probably call her"

"Logan tell me what happened" Lulu said "How did you get that scar on your stomach?"

"Lu" he sighed, putting his shirt on "It's just from one of my run-ins with Johnny, it's no big deal"

"Logan, it is a big deal" she said sternly "He stabbed you didn't he?"

Logan slowly nodded

"And it's my fault" she said quietly starting to tear up

Logan walked up to her and wiped away the tears that managed to fall "Lulu, I promise you…none of this is your fault, none of it at all" he said looking into her eyes

Before Lulu could reply, her phone rang

"Hello?" she answered

"Lulu, where are you, I thought Logan was bringing you home, are you alright?" Rebecca asked all in one breath

"Becca, I'm fine" Lulu said "Logan and I, well we decided to go somewhere and talk about old times…really I'm fine"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I promise" Lulu told her

"Okay, well when are you coming home?" Rebecca asked

"I don't know, but I'll call you later okay…bye" Lulu said then hung up

She looked up to a smirking Logan "What?" she asked

"You lied…why?" he asked

Lulu shrugged "I didn't want to tell her that 'we're running away from my psycho ex' over the phone"

"Psycho ex? Well I see you've finally come to your senses about Johnboy" Logan smirked

_'If Johnny's the psycho ex, then what does she think of me?'_ he thought to himself

"Are you going to tell her the truth?" he asked

Lulu shook her head "No, not at the moment…but if I have to then I'll tell her" Lulu said then she decided to change the subject "So, what are we going to do about Johnny and the mess you're in?"

_to be continued..._


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N : man the past hurts sometimes…it always has a way of resurfacing :( **

**Chapter 10**

Logan gave Lulu a weird look "We?"

"Yes, we" Lulu said "I'm involved in this whether you like it or not"

He swallowed hard, he sure as hell didn't want her anymore involved in this. But he knew that there was no way she would stay out of it. He would just let it slide until they were back in town, then he would talk to her, tell her that he didn't want her involved.

"Well, I think it would be safe to go back now" Logan said

"But…" Lulu started

"Come on Lu, lets go" Logan said

Lulu was completely confused, but she still followed him out the door

They drove in silence for a while and Lulu couldn't take it anymore.

"You still didn't answer my question" she stated

"What question?" he asked

"What are we going to do?"

"Lu, _we_ are not going to do anything" he said "This mess is something that I have to fix myself"

"But Logan, I want to help you" she said

"I don't want you any more involved in this Lulu" he said, keeping his eyes on the road

Lulu stayed silent, not sure what to say. She wanted to help him, but he was being so stubborn and wouldn't let her.

"But Logan, you need my help" she said

"What?" he said shocked

"You need my help" she said "I know you say it wasn't, but I know Johnny coming after you is my fault. If I hadn't of dumped him then you wouldn't be in this mess. I can talk to Johnny and tell him to stop what he's doing and leave you alone"

Logan shook his head "Lu, don't you get it?" he said getting frustrated "He will kill you if he finds out you have any involvement with me…you need to stay out of this"

"I can take care of myself Logan"

"Oh and I can't? Is that what you meant by 'you need my help'?" he shouted "You think I can't do anything for myself, is that right?"

"No that's not what I meant" Lulu said "I just meant that you can't do this alone"

"That's the same thing Lulu" he said

"Alright then, if you won't let me help you….then what do you plan to do?" she asked

"I'm going to take care of it" he said

"Wow Logan, that explains it" she said sarcastically "Tell me what your going to do because you know if you kill Johnny, you'll have the rest of the Zacchara's after you"

"I don't give a damn about the Zacchara's…I'll do what I have to" he said

"Logan do you have a death wish?" she screamed "I guess you're even crazier than you were that night, you haven't changed a bit, you're still that same demented psycho" she instantly regretted saying those words

Logan slammed on the brakes "Get out" he said calmly

Lulu didn't move "Logan I…"

"Get the hell out Lulu!" he yelled

"No" she said quietly

Logan angrily got out of the car and went around to Lulu's side. He opened the door and without saying a word he unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her out of the car

"Logan stop" she shouted, tears in her eyes

When Logan let go of her she tried to get back in the car but he pulled her back out, then slammed the car door

"Logan, I'm sorry" she cried

"No your not" he shouted

He walked around to the driver's side and got back in, Lulu was banging on the window so he reluctantly rolled it down

"Logan please, I'm so sorry" she said

Logan didn't even look at her, he just gripped the steering wheel tighter "It's about a ten minute walk back into town…you should be fine"

"Logan, don't do this" she cried

"I didn't, you did" he said, and with that he drove away leaving Lulu in tears

Logan was so angry, that he could barely see straight. How could Lulu think so little of him? He wasn't crazy…he was sick, that's what the shrinks kept telling him and eventually he started to believe that. _"I guess you're even crazier than you were that night, you haven't changed a bit…you're still that same demented psycho"_ he kept hearing her say those words over and over in his head. Those words coming from her hit him like a ton of bricks, he didn't know how he'd ever get past that.

Lulu started crying so hard that she was nearly convulsing as she watched him drive away. She couldn't believe what she said to him. She was just so angry that he was being stubborn, not allowing her to help him. She knew he was just looking out for her, he just wanted to keep her safe and what did she do? She brought what happen that night up, she even called him psycho. She wished she could take it back, but she couldn't. She hurt him and there was nothing she could do to change that. Once she calmed down a bit, she started the walk back into town…not sure what she'd find when she got there.

_to be continued..._


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

It had started pouring rain as Lulu slowly but surely made her way back to town. The tears still streaming down her cheeks, she kept thinking back to the look on Logan's face when she called him a psycho. She knew he was more hurt than angry…because for as long as she's known him, he's always covered up his sadness with anger. He always seemed to be so arrogant and egotistical, but in reality it was just a cover. He acted as if nothing could touch him, nothing could hurt him…but the truth is he wore his heart on his sleeve and very few people took the time to realize that.

Lulu hoped that Logan would forgive her, she cared about him so much and hated to see him so hurt especially knowing that she caused it. One way or another she hoped she would find a way to help him realize that he could trust her again not to hurt him.

By the time she got back to town, she was soaked both with the rain and the tears. She made her way to the bar, just wanting to drown her sorrows in alcohol, although she knew that wasn't the answer, it didn't stop her…she just wanted to feel numb, even if it was just for a little while.

She just went straight to the bar, not even looking to see who was there.

"Two shots of tequila and keep them coming" she told the bar tender

Once she downed the first shot, the other one immediately followed. She lost count after the fifth one, or was it the sixth.

When the shots stopped coming, she looked up and shouted "Hey, I said keep 'em coming"

The bar tender ignored her and she groaned

"Lulu?" someone said from behind her

When she heard the voice, she knew immediately why she'd been cut off. She turned around on her stool to face Rebecca with Tyler standing right beside her.

"Lu, what happened?" Rebecca asked concerned

The tears started pouring down Lulu cheeks once again as she thought back to what happened just about an hour before.

"I wrecked everything" she cried "I…I hurt him…again"

"Hurt who?" Rebecca asked, finding it difficult to understand her through her sobs

"Lo…Logan…he was just trying to keep me safe…and…I…I hurt him" Lulu cried

Once Tyler heard her mention Logan, he immediately whispered to Rebecca that he had to leave. She knew why. When Tyler was outside he called Logan.

"What?!" was what he heard when Logan answered the phone

"Logan, what…" Tyler broke off, he knew he shouldn't ask him what happened over the phone "What's up?"

He heard Logan scoff "That's why you called me? To ask me what's up?"

Tyler knew Logan was about ready to hang up the phone

"Whoa hold it, don't hang up" Tyler said "Just, uh will you meet me at my place?"

"Why?" Logan asked

"Just meet me at my place alright?" Tyler almost demanded

Logan scoffed again before he hung up. Tyler then went straight to his place, hoping he could somehow get an explanation as to why Lulu was so upset.

Meanwhile, back in the bar, Lulu and Rebecca sat in silence except for Lulu's sobs for a few minutes until Lulu spoke up again.

"Becca, it's just so hard" she sobbed "I don't want to hurt him, but…but somehow that's what I keep doing…It's all just so…so hard because…I…I think I love him"

***

The hours went by and Logan still never showed, it was getting close to 9pm and Tyler was just about ready to give up when there was a knock on his door. When he answered it, he saw what seemed to be a very pissed off Logan. He walked in and sat on the couch.

"What do you want?" Logan asked "Why did I just have to come over here?"

Tyler sat in the chair across from the couch and asked "Because I want to know if the reason you're so pissed is the same reason why Lulu's so upset?"

Logan looked away "You saw her" he said more as a statement than a question

"Yeah I did man, what did you do?" Tyler asked

Logan immediately looked up with fire in his eyes "What did I do? What DID I do?" he said his voice raising "I tried to protect HER, then SHE keeps throwing the past in my face!"

"Dude…it can't be that bad" Tyler said and right away he knew it was the wrong choice of words

Logan stood up abruptly "What the fuck do you know?" he shouted "You weren't there, you don't know how hard it is to mess up so badly then finally getting your life back on track…only to have the past come back to bite you in the ass. You don't know what it's like to fall so hard for someone, thinking you finally got it right, like you have a second chance only to have them crush you like you're the scum of the earth."

"Logan…" Tyler started

"No" Logan interrupted "I'm done, I'm outta here" and with that Logan left slamming the door behind him.

Logan left even more pissed off than he was before. He knew he shouldn't have shouted at Tyler like that. It wasn't Tyler's fault that his life was now like a living hell. He drove back to his apartment, wondering how things had gone so bad so quickly. He thought that eventually, he and Lulu would have another chance to just be happy together…but now there seemed to be no chance of that happening…not now not ever.

He ran his hand down his face before he got out of his car and walked into his apartment complex. He planned to just sit back and drink until he had no feeling left in him, he knew that no amount of alcohol could erase that pain he felt in his heart…but he still would try. Once Logan got up to his apartment however, his plans changed and his heart softened. He saw Lulu slumped against the wall beside his door and she looked to be sleeping. He could see the remnants of tears on her cheeks.

He quietly unlocked and opened his door. Then he picked her up, right away he could smell the tequila…he knew she had the same idea he had before he saw her there. He carried her inside, careful not to wake her, he brought her to his room and gently put her down on the bed then he covered her up.

"I try not to…but I still love you" he whispered

Logan placed a soft kiss on her forehead then caressed her cheek before he left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.


	13. Chapter 12

******I am so sorry about the wait :( I plan to finish this story at some point. I have a double update for now, hope you enjoy**

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**Chapter 12**

Lulu awoke the next morning with a raging headache; she groaned and squinted as she slowly opened her eyes. She turned over to look at the clock on the nightstand, but she was confused when she realized she didn't know where she was, _'Where am I?'_ When she saw that she still had her clothes on she sighed with relief, also catching a whiff of a familiar scent that saddened her to no end. She still couldn't believe she said those words to him; she hurt him so much that she feared he'd never forgive her. Lulu got out of the bed and hesitantly opened the door; she was greeted by the distinct smell of pancakes, _'What's going on?'_ She followed the smell to the kitchen and that's where she saw him. Logan was standing over the stove in just his jeans, cooking pancakes. She rubbed her eyes thinking she was hallucinating, but she wasn't, he was really there.

"Morning" he said, not looking up from the stove "There's a bottle of ibuprofen and some orange juice on the table"

Lulu was speechless and confused, at the moment he didn't seem the least bit angry or upset. She slowly walked closer to him.

"Um…Logan what…"

"When I came home last night I saw you passed out at my door" he interrupted "You really have to stop with the tequila" he chuckled, flipping some pancakes onto a plate

"I…" she started

"Here" he said handing her the plate "You should probably eat something"

"Um…thanks" she said quietly, all was silent for a moment "Logan…"

She looked up, but only saw his retreating back going into his room. He came out a moment later with a black t-shirt on.

"Logan I'm so sorr…"

"I gotta go" he interrupted

"Please let me s…" she was interrupted again

"I'm gonna be late for work" he said, still not looking at her

She so desperately wanted to apologize, to say sorry for all that she put him through then and now, for bringing up the past one too many times, but he wouldn't let her talk…not that she blamed him. And a simple sorry wouldn't be enough, he deserved more than that. She couldn't help but think back two years ago, when it was Logan working to get her trust back…now the roles were reversed, she had to get his trust back.

"Um…where do you work?" she asked, hoping they could have some sort of normal conversation

"A garage" he said, purposely making his answer vague "I gotta go or I'll be late"

Lulu silently nodded while trying to catch his gaze but he still refused to look at her

"Uh lock up when you leave" he said opening the door "There's a key under the doormat"

And with that…he was gone.

When Logan arrived at the garage, he was greeted by Tyler.

"Wow man, you're here early…that's a first" he said

"Hey I'm always on time" Logan replied

"Yeah but you're never early" Tyler stated "What gives?"

"Nothing gives" Logan said

"Oh really" Tyler said unconvinced "So you just flipped out last night over nothing? And for some reason I think that's why you're here early"

"Damn Ty, you're not gonna let this go are you?" Logan asked "Look I'm sorry man, about last night…I was pissed and I shouldn't have flipped out like that…it had nothing to do with you"

"Alrighty then…tell me why you were so pissed, I'm guessing it had something to do with Lulu right?" he said knowingly

"I'm not talking about this now…not here"

"Ok, well since we're both early…you have time to tell me what happened" Tyler said

"What are you, a shrink?" Logan retorted

"Haha, funny" Tyler replied "Now come on"

Logan reluctantly followed Tyler to the break room and immediately went over to the coffee machine and got himself a coffee…if it could even be called that, the stuff was nasty but it sure could wake you up. He sat at the table as did Tyler, Logan sighed "Since you won't let this go, where should I start?"

"Just talk man"

"Alright" Logan said getting frustrated "Lulu said some stuff…brought up things that are better off left in the past" he sighed "I was just trying to protect her, you know…I got pissed and told her to walk back to town" Tyler gave him a shocked look "I drove around for a bit then I went to your place and well you know what happened there" Logan sighed again "When I got home, I saw her…Lulu was passed out at my door"

Logan quickly finished off his cup of coffee then went to get another "I couldn't just leave her there…I brought her inside and put her to bed. Then this morning I cooked breakfast and I left"

Tyler thought for a moment "Well I wasn't expecting all that" he said "So what are you gonna do now?"

"Nothing" Logan said quickly "She's not safe around me and I can't take her throwing the past in my face anymore"

Tyler knew all about Logan's past with Lulu, he knew that Lulu was the only girl ever to get through to Logan; the only one Logan ever loved.

"You know, the last time I talked to Coop, he said he thought you actually wanted to settle down, that you found a girl that made you change your ways…of course I though it was bullshit" Tyler smirked and Logan rolled his eyes "But when you came here, I saw that you did change…you weren't the same hot-headed punk we knew in Iraq"

"What's your point?" Logan asked

"My point is…I think you should talk to Lulu, she was the only girl ever to smarten you up…so talk to her, try with her again" he said and he knew what Logan was thinking "Just ignore that whole Zucchini thing, we'll handle that…I still say she'd be safer with you"

"Alright man, if you're done, I gotta get to work" Logan said, then left

Tyler immediately got up and followed

"Logan…just think about what I said"

"Yeah…sure" Logan said, but Tyler knew he really meant 'Yeah right!'

Lulu ate the pancakes even though she wasn't that hungry. After she was done, she started to look around the apartment and smiled, it was all so simple, it was just so…Logan. She noticed some pictures setting on top of the entertainment center. One of then was of a woman that must be his mother, she had the same green eyes as him. The next one was of Logan, Coop and Tyler in the army; they had their arms around each others shoulders with goofy grins on their faces. Then she saw one of her and Logan, it was taken on their date at Vista Point… _'He kept it'_. Lulu picked up the picture and looked more closely at it, they were soaked but they were so happy, she remembered that day so well. The smile on Logan's face brought tears to her eyes, _'How did we go from this to how we are now?'_ she sighed sadly and put the picture back. She knew what she had to do, she left the apartment and locked the door, but instead of putting the key back, she put it in her pocket and left. She was going to fix this.

She drove around town for a few hours, looking in the parking lots of the garages for anything that resembled Logan's car. Finally she found it. She parked her car then took a deep breath before she entered the garage. She looked around but she couldn't see Logan anywhere.

"Lulu?"

She turned around and saw Tyler; she forgot he was a mechanic.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, although he did have an idea

"I…um…does Logan work here?" she asked quietly and he almost didn't hear her

Tyler smirked and pointed over his shoulder "Yeah he's over there, under the Chev"

Lulu didn't say anything and she stood rooted to the spot wondering what she should say to him

"Come on, I'll bring you over" he said, knowing Logan would probably hate him for this, but it had to be done, they had to talk, _'He'll get over it'_

Lulu reluctantly followed him over and Tyler knocked on the hood.

"Yo bud, you got a visitor" he said

Logan stopped what he was doing and slid out from underneath the car. He looked up and saw Lulu, their eyes meeting for the first time that day.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

As soon as Logan saw Lulu, he immediately slid back under the car and continued working.

"Logan…" Lulu started

"I'm working" he interrupted

"Can we please talk?" she asked

"I'm busy" he said back

Lulu grabbed hold of his legs and pulled him out from under the car. He glared at her then got up and walked away. Lulu chased after him and caught up to him outside

"Logan please, I need to talk to you" she pleaded

Logan sighed then faced her; his green eyes piercing her hazel ones.

"Lu, just leave me alone alright" he said "I don't want to talk to you here, not now"

"But…"

"No Lulu, please go alright?!" he said sternly

"Hayes get back to work!" he heard his boss yell

Logan turned around without a word and went back into the shop. Lulu stood watching the increasingly familiar view of his retreating back, as a tear streamed down her cheek.

Lulu went back to her apartment, still speechless. She had no idea how to get Logan to talk to her, but she had to think of something, _'I have to fix this; I need to talk to him'_

"Lulu?" Rebecca said "Where were you last night?"

Lulu looked up from her seat on the couch "Uh…I went to um…well I went to Logan's"

Rebecca looked at her shocked, taking a seat beside Lulu "Did you talk to him? How'd it go?"

Lulu sighed "When I got there, he wasn't home…I guess I passed out at his door. I…I woke up this morning in his bed, when he got home last night…he carried me in. This morning he cooked me breakfast…he told me I should stop with the tequila" Lulu laughed lightly and Rebecca smiled small "For a moment I though everything was ok you know…but when I…he wouldn't let me talk, he wouldn't let me apologize, he wouldn't even look at me" Lulu took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves "After, I went to the garage where he…did you know he works with Tyler?"

Rebecca nodded, somewhat confused "Yeah…why?"

"I just…I didn't know that" Lulu said quietly "Logan…he told me to leave him alone"

"Lu, from what you told me, I'd say he still cares about you otherwise he would have left you outside his door" she said softly "He'll talk to you eventually"

Lulu sighed "I know" then she smirked

"You know?" Rebecca asked curiously

"Yeah…he'll have to talk to me" Lulu said pulling a key out of her pocket "Because I have a key"

"How'd you swipe that?"

"He told me to lock up…and well I just kept the key" Lulu said

"You mean you stole it" Rebecca said knowingly

Lulu just shrugged

"So…when are you going to talk to him?" she asked

"I'm thinking he gets off around 5, so that gives me…about an hour" she answered

"And you're just gonna let yourself in?" Rebecca laughed

"Yeah" Lulu laughed as well

About an hour later, Lulu arrived at Logan's apartment, _'How am I going to do this?'_, Lulu sighed as she thought of all the times she hurt him and let him down. From Johnny to the Text Message Killer ordeal, breaking up with him the way she did, treating him like he didn't exist and if she did talk to him she treated him like dirt, to the night of his breakdown and when she basically told him he was crazy, that he hadn't changed from the person he was that night. Sure he said it was PTSD, but Lulu still felt she was partly to blame for his breakdown. But she was going to make things right between them, she was going to fix this and gain his trust back.

Lulu took a deep breath as she unlocked the door; she slowly walked in and shut the door quietly behind her. She looked up just in him to see Logan emerge from the bathroom running his hand through his wet hair and wearing nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

"Lulu what the hell?!"

_

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**I have another chapter just about ready so it will be up soon :)**


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